36: How to Host a Clothing Swap — Sharing Clothes & Building Community

We all have clothes we don’t wear. Pieces that might fit again someday, that were expensive, or that feel too nice to just drop into a donation bin. When those clothes start piling up, donation often becomes the default solution. And once those bags are gone from the trunk, the buying cycle begins again.

In this episode, I’m taking a closer look at that pattern, and at what it might look like to slow down not just how we buy clothes, but how we let them go. We’re talking about clothing swaps — how they work in real life, why they’re such a powerful (and often overlooked) tool for sustainable living, and how sharing clothes within our existing circles can keep clothing in use closer to home, while also building connection and community.

Takeaways

• How donation has become part of the buying cycle (and why that matters)
• How clothing swaps keep clothes in use locally
• Why letting go of clothing is emotional (and how swaps create a softer landing)
• How to actually host a swap
• Why planning for leftovers is just as important as planning the swap itself
• How sharing clothes can quietly build connection and community

One Small Shift

Try it! If you have host energy, host a clothing swap — start small, keep it simple, and see what happens. And if hosting feels like too much, say YES to attending one.

Resources

How to Host a Clothing Swap (blog post)

Ep. 35: Rethinking Sustainable Fashion with Sabs Katz

Clotheshorse Podcast

Consumed - Aja Barber (book)

Aja Barber - Patreon

Transcript

Sarah Robertson-Barnes (00:00.672)
If you've ever filled a donation bag and put it in your trunk and then driven around with it for months, you are not alone. Today, we're talking about a different way to let clothing go. One that's slower, more intentional, and a lot closer to home. 

Welcome to Sustainable in the Suburbs, a podcast for the eco curious who want to live a greener life and are looking for a place to start. I'm your host, Sarah Robertson Barnes, a soccer mom with a station wagon and a passion for sustainable living.

Each week I'll bring you practical tips and honest conversations to help you waste less, save money and make small doable shifts that actually fit your real life. Because sustainable living doesn't have to be perfect to matter and you don't have to do it all to make a difference. 

Hello and welcome back to Sustainable in the Suburbs. The podcast where we start where we are, use what we have and live a little greener, one small shift at a time. My name is Sarah and I'm so pleased to be hanging out with you today.

This show is made possible by listeners like you. So if you've been enjoying the show, one of the best ways to support it is to share an episode on social media. That really helps new folks to find us. You can also leave a rating or a review wherever you're listening today and come connect with me on Instagram. I'm over there at Sarah Robertson Barnes. And if you head over to sustainabilitysuburbs.com slash podcast, you can find the show notes for all episodes.

and there's a place to suggest topics or guests you'd love to hear on future episodes as well. I'll also be asking you to email me with some of your stories at the end of this episode. So keep that in mind as you listen. Okay, let's get to it. We all have clothes we don't wear. Too many clothes. Things that don't quite fit anymore or that might fit again someday or that don't feel like us now or that we just can't seem to let go of.

because they were expensive or they're really nice or we might wear it someday. But the fact is, no, we won't. Most of us wear about 20 % of our clothing, 80 % of the time. So we're hanging on to more than we think and it's more than just the clothes. So every now and again, we have a little freak out and do a huge closet urge. And for a lot of us, that default solution to all of our unwanted stuff is donations.

Sarah Robertson-Barnes (02:25.582)
We fill bags, put them in the trunk, and we tell ourselves that we'll drop them off soon. And sometimes they sit there for weeks or months. And over time, that routine becomes familiar. Donation becomes the default way that clothes leave our homes. And if we're being honest, donation has become part of the buying cycle itself. We clear space, we donate, and then clearing makes it easier to bring in something new.

And that doesn't come from like bad intentions. Most of us really are trying to do the right thing. We want our clothes to be useful. We don't want them to go to waste, but the volume matters. There's just so much clothing and our donation systems simply can't keep up. That volume really does matter. It's estimated that there is currently enough clothing on the planet to clothe the next six or seven generations of humans. There is too much stuff and donation is not the answer.

I can't even begin to tell you the number of times I've heard, I'll just donate it when I'm done with it. And on the one hand, I get it. Many of us want the things we no longer want or use to stay in use and to find another home for someone else to love it. But that's really not the reality of our overburdened thrift stores that send so much of what they take in to landfill or overseas or to incinerators.

So if we want to consume less overall, we have to slow down that part as well. In last week's episode, when I was talking with SADCats about sustainable fashion, we touched on this idea of keeping clothes in circulation in a different way, of sharing them, passing them along, coming to clothes with a bit more intention and a bit more of a story. We talked about clothes, not just as stuff, but as something that can move through communities in really meaningful ways.

And so that conversation prompted me to sit down and write this episode because it made me think about what it looks like to slow things down, not just how we buy clothes, but how and why we let them go. What it might look like to clean out our closets with a little more care and attention to really make sure that those items find the right person at the right moment. And one of the ways that I found that actually works in real life is through clothing swaps.

Sarah Robertson-Barnes (04:45.745)
Clothing swaps offer a more slow and intentional way to let go of what you are not wearing. They keep clothing in use right where we live. And they do it in a way that's social and generous and grounded in real community and relationships, not just drop-off bins. So today I want to talk about clothing swaps, how they actually work in real life, why they're such a powerful entry point into sustainable fashion.

or even just sustainable living as a whole, and how sharing clothes with the people around us can change the way we think about what we own and what we need and how we let things go.

Now, as always, this episode is also about the bigger picture, not just clothing swaps. So let's have a quick chat about that because there is a lot to talk about here, not just how much clothing we buy, but how much we move through and how quick we are to let it go and the assumption that donation will take care of the excess. And obviously we can't cover all of it today. It's an a massive topic. And so if you want to go deeper, I really recommend the clothes horse podcast.

which I have been binging is excellent. And also check out the book Consumed by Aja Barber and her Patreon is also a wealth of information. And so both of those are excellent and I will link them for you in the show notes. Because if we are serious about consuming less, then we have to slow down this exit point too. And look honestly at the scale of clothing consumption that donation systems were never designed to handle.

So according to the United Nations Environment Program, about 92 million tons of textile waste is produced globally every single year. So that's the equivalent of a garbage truck full of clothing being sent to landfill or incinerated every single second of the day. And if nothing changes, that number is projected to reach 134 million tons by 2030, which is right around the corner. Here's another

Sarah Robertson-Barnes (06:53.414)
disturbing trend, clothing production has doubled since the year 2000, while the amount of time that we actually wear our clothes has dropped dramatically. So many garments are now worn just seven times before being discarded. And there's also another piece, which is that a huge portion of our clothing is now made from synthetic fibers like polyester and nylon, which is plastic. So every time those clothes are washed, they shed microplastics.

and textiles are thought to account for nearly 10 % of the microplastics entering waterways each year. So we'll talk about that on future episodes, I'm sure. Okay, so when you zoom in closer to home, it's also not great. In the US, the average person discards about 80 pounds of textiles every year, and a lot of which is donated, which feels responsible, but only a small fraction is ever actually resold.

Most donated clothing is sorted, bundled, shipped elsewhere, or recycled into lower value materials, sent to landfill or incinerated. What actually happens to our donations is not something that I put much thought into until we moved here about 15 years ago. So I've been thrifting for like 30 years and didn't even think about this until I saw it with my own eyes really, but I was doing a drop-off at our local Valley Village.

which is called Sabres in the States, I think. And at this particular location in my new town, Drop Off is at the back, not the front. So right next to about six dumpsters. And it doesn't really get more clear than that. Donation has become part of the buying cycle and lots of people treat it like a feel-good garbage can. When donation starts to become automatic like that, it stops interrupting overconsumption and actually starts supporting it.

So if we want to consume less, we have to interrupt the whole cycle, especially how unwanted items leave our homes. This is why clothing swaps matter. They keep clothing in use locally because the most sustainable piece of clothing you could ever own already exists. The work now is keeping it in use, close to home.

Sarah Robertson-Barnes (09:08.573)
Clothing swaps don't just change where clothes go. They also change how we think about letting them go. And that's where things can start to feel a little different. It's the practical side of clothing swaps is only half the story. The other half is emotional. Cause for a lot of us, the hard part isn't necessarily putting it in the bag. It's deciding what goes into the bag. It's standing in front of your closet and thinking like, this, this might fit again. Or this was really expensive.

This is too nice to donate. I can't just throw it in the bag and forget it. And like that all makes sense. Clothing is really emotionally fraught and clothing holds memories. They represent money and time and identity and sometimes versions of ourselves that we're not quite ready to let go of yet. And this is one of the reasons I really love clothing swaps because they create a much softer landing for

releasing all the weird emotional shit that we have tied up in our clothes. Instead of clothes disappearing into a donation bin, they stay in your community. You can imagine someone you know trying it on, loving it, and actually wearing it again. And that shift alone can make letting go of certain items easier and will also shift how and why you acquire clothing in the future. Is there something else to consider? It's the possibility. When you know you might leave a swap with something great,

something that you genuinely love and will wear, that really changes the emotional math too. Because swaps aren't rushed, the process tends to be slower and honest and fun. You're not just stuffing things into a bag to get them out of sight. You are making decisions in real time, often with other people around and noticing what you wear and what you feel good in. It's a very different experience from just purging. Clothing swaps invite a slower...

more intentional and a more honest way of letting things go. One that respects both the clothes and the people involved.

Sarah Robertson-Barnes (11:09.14)
When it comes to having a clothing swap, the hardest part is usually the first step. What kind of swap do you want to host and who is it for? So if you're thinking about hosting a swap, I would encourage you to start small, both in terms of the number of people and the scope of what you're swapping. It doesn't need to be a community wide event to be worthwhile. Think of your small circle as the first in a series of ripples.

Smaller swaps are easier to organize, less intimidating to attend when you know people who are going, and just more relaxed and enjoyable, especially if this is your first time. So start with your friends and invite them to bring a friend or two if they'd like. This is where our swaps can be really fun because your circles can overlap naturally. You get a mix of styles and perspectives, and now you're spending time with people that you might not have met otherwise.

It keeps things feeling familiar, but also brings in some new energy. People arrive already loosely connected, so conversations will flow more easily, and then the clothes tend to move more naturally too. Without trying to, you end up creating a small temporary community around shared resources. And it becomes a really low pressure and enjoyable way to meet people and expand your circle. The second piece that really matters is focus.

A focused swap means choosing a specific category or a shared need rather than a general bring whatever you want event. The focus helps people feel more confident about what to bring and what to expect and whether the swap is actually for them. So there's lots of different ways that you can do swaps. Some categories that work really well include just everyday basics or office clothes. You could do sports gear or active wear.

And kids clothing is a great one, especially for seasonal items. So you could also do one at your kids school for winter gear, boots, hats, coats, mitts, all of that kind of stuff that your kids have outgrown. Another really easy, low effort, but high impact swap is Halloween costumes. Just leave a costume, take a costume. We all have costumes hanging out in our homes that we would be more than happy to pass on.

Sarah Robertson-Barnes (13:26.881)
And you could also do something like formal wear, like wedding guest outfits, prom dresses, that sort of thing. So we'll talk a little bit later about what kinds of items to include within each of these categories, but just sort of picking a theme is going to set you up for success. So once you've chosen a small focused swap, the guest list usually becomes pretty obvious. Kids' clothing and costume swaps make sense with like school or your daycare families.

sports gear works well with your team, parents, et cetera. Starting with people you already know also helps to keep it like really low pressure, familiar, smaller groups tend to feel safer and more relaxed and people are more likely to show up and participate and have a really good time. So no need to jump into planning a community wide event unless of course that is your jam and you want to. The goal is to simply do it.

Once you've decided to host a swap, the next thing to think about is structure. You don't have to have a ton of rules, just a little bit of guidance and clarity from the beginning to help folks feel more comfortable and have it feel very welcoming. So for a lot of people, the uncertainty isn't about the clothes. It's like, gosh, am I taking too much? Am I not taking enough? Did I bring enough? Will anyone like what I bring? Will there be anything for me? A gentle structure can help take all of that pressure off.

So that could look like setting a limit on how many items people can bring using tickets or tokens, organizing shopping rounds if the group is larger, that sort of thing. So for example, I really like a 10 to 15 item limit. That encourages people to be a bit more thoughtful about what they bring. And it also helps keep the swap from becoming overwhelming, especially when it comes to managing anything leftover. But please trust me on this, set an item limit.

If you are using tickets or tokens for who gets to choose when, it can be as simple as this. Each person gets one ticket for every item they bring. And when they find something they want to take home, they hand over the ticket, which can give a swap a natural rhythm, helps people pace themselves, et cetera. If the group is on the larger side, you can do short shopping rounds to help things flow. A few people browse, others can like chat and grab a drink, and then you rotate. So it's all just about keeping the experience calm and enjoyable for everyone.

Sarah Robertson-Barnes (15:50.057)
And when the swap starts to feel more fun and get more social, I do find that the kind of structure just sort of breaks down and then it becomes just a really chill free for all where people are just checking stuff out and yeah, that's how you know it's working.

Next, one of the most helpful things you can do as a host is to set expectations before the swap even begins. Because I think that folks arrive carrying more than just the clothes they want to swap. You know, what if there's nothing in my size? What if nobody chooses my things? What if this is awkward? What if I don't know anybody? Those fears are all normal, especially in a culture where clothing has so much tied up in it, or bodies and confidence and money and belonging and...

Naming that uncertainty ahead of time can really help. So you can remind people that swaps are about curiosity and fun, and there's no pressure to find something, and there's definitely no obligation to take things. It's also important to be upfront about inclusivity. So bodies are different, styles are different, and clothing doesn't fit everyone the same way. So that's a reason that I like to encourage bringing other items such as shoes, accessories, bags, et cetera, alongside clothing.

It just opens up more possibilities and helps people be able to participate more fully, even if the clothing itself isn't a perfect match. So these are all things that you'll want to think about and include right on the invitation in some cases. When the expectations are clear, then the whole thing just feels lighter. It's more generous, people relax, the swapping happens more easily, and then the swap becomes what it was meant to be, which is a shared experience.

So let's talk about how to actually set up the clothing swap. When it comes to setting it up, there are a few practical things to think through ahead of time, mainly what you'll need in the space and how to try things on and where the space will actually be. So for smaller swaps, hosting at home can work really well. A living room, a basement, an open main floor, that naturally creates just a relaxed conversational atmosphere where people tend to linger and socialize and help each other decide.

Sarah Robertson-Barnes (18:03.074)
If you're working with a slightly larger group, you might want to look into a community center or a library meeting room or a local small business with extra space. Clothing racks are key. These are really important. Ask your network if anybody has a clothing rack you can borrow and I bet you will be surprised. I randomly have one and that we used to actually hang the kids make believe costumes on all the extra Halloween costumes.

And so I'm able to lend those out when anybody needs one. So ask your friends and family, your colleagues or work if they have one that you can borrow. You can also put an ISO out to your local buy nothing group and see if anybody has one to lend you. A few racks usually do the job. You may also want to ask guests to bring hangers for the items they're contributing. And I would suggest that you have them mark them so that they remember to take them home afterward.

So you can put elastic bands around the necks. You can also tie a little piece of yarn, bread tags, that sort of thing. Keeps things straightforward at the end of the swan. You may also want to have a table or two for folded items, shoes, accessories, bags, and make sure that there's at least one full length mirror available and a place to change is also important. So consider that when choosing your venue. And then you can just arrange items loosely by type, and tops together, bottoms together, dresses together.

and then just leave room for people to browse and chat and move around. You don't have to make it look like a boutique, but I've also been to swaps where they do that and that's really fun too. So if you can ask a couple of folks if they can arrive early to help set up, these extra hands make everything run more smoothly.

Now what happens after the swap matters just as much as what happens during it. Leftovers are a normal part of the process, but they shouldn't be an afterthought. One simple option is to let people know that they can take their remaining items back home if they wish. So that gives everyone time to decide what they want to do with it next, rather than forcing everything into a quick drop off at the end of the day. If you do plan to donate what's leftover, decide that ahead of time.

Sarah Robertson-Barnes (20:10.06)
and let people know where those items will be going. Knowing the destination can change how people choose what to bring and what they are ready to let go of. It invites bit more care and intention into the process. So different organizations need different things. Planning ahead and asking about what's useful helps ensure that items are going where they'll truly be used. So that could mean coordinating with a women's shelter.

a resettlement program or an employment support organization with specific needs. It could also mean deciding certain categories will be donated to different places, et cetera. But please make sure that you get in touch with the organizations ahead of time to see what their needs are. The key is just thinking about the full life cycle of clothing. Again, where it's been and where it is now and where it's going next. A clothing swap works best when it keeps items in use thoughtfully, not when it simply shifts the burden somewhere else.

So taking that bit of time to plan for what happens after helps make the whole experience more meaningful and more aligned with the reason you hosted the swap in the first place.

My favorite part of clothing swaps is what happens when everyone settles in. As people get more comfortable and the structure of it all sort of fades into the background, the shopping slows down, people linger and clothes get passed around and tried on together, held up for opinions, conversations start happening. It starts to feel less like an exchange and more like a shared experience. And that

matters, especially as adults, making friends as an adult is hard. We don't have a lot of natural reasons to gather in person anymore, like especially outside of work or family obligations. So a clothing swap can create a really low stakes reason to show up and spend time together and connect over something tangible. And sometimes that can go further than anyone expects. So I have a friend here in the neighborhood.

Sarah Robertson-Barnes (22:12.514)
And then I met just chatting at school pickup and eventually she hosted a clothing swap at her place. And it was so fun. was huge. It was the best and she loved it. And what ended up happening was that this gathering eventually grew into something much larger. And today she owns a resale shop called Style Upcycle. Hello Stephanie. And it's just really inspiring to see how

a seed can get planted and turn into something you might never expect. So that's really the point. You don't have to host a swap because you want it to become anything more. You don't need to aim for scale or outcomes or growth. But when you create spaces for sharing, connection happens, ripples happen, sometimes quietly and sometimes in surprising ways. You just have to start.

Sarah Robertson-Barnes (23:10.298)
So what's the one small shift this week? Try it. That's it. If you have the energy to host a swap, start small, keep it simple, do it with a couple of friends and see what happens. And if hosting feels like too much right now, find one in your area. Say yes to an invitation. Go with a friend. Just try it just once. And if you do, I would really love to hear how it went. Or if you are a veteran of clothing swaps, I would love to hear from you too. So please email me and tell me.

what works well in your experience, what surprised you, what didn't go great if you've hosted a clothing swap or what you do differently next time. And I'd love to hear your thoughts on donation or just really anything that we've talked about today. So you can email me at hello at sustainable in the suburbs.com and I'll link the contact in the show notes. And I'd love to share some of these anecdotes in a future episode. So this is one of those practices that can look different.

in every home and community and circle. And those stories matter. Thank you so much for spending this time with me today. If this episode sparked an idea or gave you a nudge to try something new and host a swap, I hope it feels doable and maybe even a little exciting. Until next time, start where you are, use what you have, and live a little greener.

Thanks for tuning in to Sustainable in the Suburbs. Every small step adds up and I'm so glad we're doing this together. If you enjoyed this episode, please make sure to follow the show, share it with a friend and leave a review wherever you get your podcasts. You can find me at sustainableinthesuburbs.com or at Sarah Robertson Barnes on all the things. Until next time, start where you are, use what you have and live a little greener. This podcast is produced, mixed and edited by Cardinal Studio. For more information about how to start your own

podcast, please visit www.cardinalsstudio.co or email Mike at mike at cardinalsstudio.co. You can also find the details in the show notes.